Friday, September 27, 2013
A piece of me
I guess in order for one to realize something isn't quite right, we need a little wake up call.
I had one of those wake up calls this week.... after what I thought was the flu because I was tired, nausea hit, bones aching then finally a fainting spell that made me realize it's time to see the doctor.
I get to the doctor and she asks me
Dr - " Are you doing too much?"
Me - "ummm no"
Dr - " One raised eye brown and a look that could kill"
Me - I chuckle and responds no Dr I'm sitting around drinking coffee and watching Oprah all day"
Dr. - Limor - Oprah has been off the air for a while - I'm on to you!
Me - alright I've got many wonderful things happening but I can't seem to enjoy them because I'm so busy
Dr - Have you thought about asking people for help?
Me -hmmm that would be a good solution eh?
Dr - I'm no expert but I've heard it works - Are you Sleeping well?
( I adore her sarcasm!)
Me - I can't seem to get a restful sleep at night so I wake up every hour or I don't end up falling asleep until 4 am.. and then I'm so tired my stomach is upset so I'm not eating....
Dr - hmmm I wonder why you are feeling this way.... no sleep, not eating well.... Mystery really..
Prescription:
SLEEP!!!!, EAT!!!
Seems simple doesn't it... why is it that as moms we feel we need to do everything for everyone!! It's like we hired ourselves to solve everyone's problems with no pay!.... but the one person we forget to help and take care of is ourselves.
I have many wonderful things going on in my life and opportunities coming my way I never dreamed of. Almost to a fault I have a big heart.... tears stream down my face as I write this because it truly makes me happy to see others fulfill their dreams in life or even just help someone have a glimmer of hope when they didn't think there was hope...I have a burning feeling in my gut to make a difference for people.
One small problem, I can't actually do it alone... I have a vision I just forgot to share it with others around me so that I can create a team that would help actualize my vision and make it available for others to realize their vision and dreams..... that's how a real difference is made.
Hannah's teacher called me this week and said Hannah was going to receive an award on Friday and it's a surprise. At the time of the call what went through my head is "How do I squeeze that in to my schedule".... all that went through my head is " I have so much to do, I have a trip to get ready for, how long is this thing going to go for, maybe I can watch her get the award and sneak out early"
I love my girls, and I am so proud of them but in that moment I was not present to anything except myself and what I needed to get done.
The rock that hit me square between the eyes is when we were standing in the gymnasium and all the kids started to walk in... Hannah saw me standing there and her face lit up like a Christmas tree! Tears instantly rolled down my face realizing I've been given these amazing gifts called "Children" and I was taking moments like these for granted. The ugly cry started once all the children stood up and started singing "Oh Canada", Ava standing beside me with her hands on her side and singing along with all the other children. The sound of children singing was the most beautiful sound... I stood there being so present to the smiles, the energy, the unity that was going on in that moment and I realized I have had hundreds of these opportunities to experience beauty like this but I have not been present to them.
My initial thought was that's it! after this Australia tour I will quit teaching and just stay home with my girls.... then sanity came back and I realized that I could continue to fulfill my dreams I just needed to ask for help ( I give credit to my doctor for bringing that up).
You know the saying " it takes a Village to raise a child"..... I kind of forgot about my village.....it's like I've been living in a secluded island and no one was invited.
It's time to share my vision, to create a team of people around me that can share this exciting with me, to allow contribution from others in to my life.
I chose to share this because as part of my vision to help others is to share myself freely so others are free to share themselves with others around them. We live in a society that does not make it easy to share due to judgements and assessments from others. As women we need to be there to support each other, create an environment for our children to grow up experiencing full self expression, love and compassion for others..
I truly hope this post made a difference for some of you.... I would love to hear your story.
Much love,
Limor Webber
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Beautifully said!! You have a very smart doctor!! Congrats on your tour!!!
ReplyDeleteTruly I've learned to take what I can handle. Even if I've had to say no to some people. Good luck with everything!!!
Thank you Keren! and yes you are right, sometimes we take more than we can chew..
DeleteAwww Limor - I totally understand. The hardest thing I ever had to learn a couple of years ago - was to say No. And mean it. My support system isn't very big - and like you - I want to spend these years with my son...because when the time is gone - it's gone. I no longer feel guilty about taking *ME* days...and these are days when I do absolutely NOTHING...I may watch a NETFLIX movie, curled up on the sofa crocheting, sketching or knitting...but that's it. And I feel no GUILT. We as women sometimes learn much too late, that the best gift we can give our children....anyone we love...is to sometimes put ourselves FIRST.
ReplyDeleteKay! you are right "Me" days are important and I have not been doing that either... saying no is something I struggle with at times especially when it's something that excites me!
DeleteI don't have any experience like this to share, but I am so glad you did. I think that you have so much to share, and I know that you are torn between honoring family commitments and spreading yourself in the crafting community. the thing is we will always be here - and others following behind, but your girls will not be young for ever - just a wink of an eye. So you take the time to set up a team - a team that have your ideals - share your vision - then allow yourself time to just be - just quietly be with your girls and family. It important not only for them and for your physical health, but for your mental health, too. (I thought you were going to tell us you are pregnant!) Good luck with all your future ventures. We look forward along with you and your beautiful girls for the next step. Hugs Julie
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing from your heart, Limor. Hugs, Francine aka (Key2myart)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your personal feelings. There comes a point, that you have to stop pushing yourself and learn to let it go (as per Tracy Weinzapfel). I had days that I was so stressed at work, that I could barely walk out of the building. I had to learn that there are a lot of things out there that I don't control and focus on what I can control - time with family and doing what makes me feel good. Also, that it is okay to ask for help - it doesn't make us weak, it makes us human. I will help you with what ever you need, just ask. Prayers for your health and safe trip. Try and get some rest on that long plane ride.
ReplyDeleteThank you Limor. My story is not far different then yours. What a difference being present with our children makes in their lives. I honestly think a big part of the worlds down fall has been 2 parents working and kids well raising themselves. I also had to learn and I am still learning (somedays better than others) its okay to ask for help in fact without help we are are a fortress neither letting anyone in nor out and it makes for a cold lonely existance.
ReplyDeleteLimor, I feel you've received the Lord's enlightenment and now you will need to find the direction that will work out the best for your heart and those around you. Its not a case of not having it all ... it will be a case of finding a healthy and feasible way to have a family and a career and time for yourself. Its a common story but an uncommon fix for each person. Clearly, our Lord has gifted you with many positive things in your life ... and among them, will be the people and resources to help you. Since I'm not there (and I used to be a killer office manager and admin assistant extraordinaire! lol) instead, it will be my pleasure to pray specifically that God will guide your path as you begin this new phase of your walk in His direction for your life. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteHuge hugs to you, believe me been there done that and still doing it. As a mother of 8 I gave up everything for my kids and was lonely and depressed I now run here my business and is on a number of DT's I too am feeling the pinch between my life and my family I hope you can find a happy balance between everything now if only I can Too xxxx
ReplyDeleteYou've written a beautiful post, Limor! Thank you very much! :o)
ReplyDeleteHi Sweetie! Glad to hear you went to Dr and you can fix this before it becomes more serious. I am older than you and my generation was not smart in taking care of ourselves, in fact we thought it was selfish. Well I am now disabled at 56, have fibromylgia and arthritis caused by excessive stress and not taking care of myself. Many times I miss out on things because of my pain. I am working on ways to relieve some of my pain and no longer beat myself up as the past is just that the past. We as women have to realize that we have to take care of ourselves so we can be there for our family!!! I am here for you if you want to talk and if I can help be a part of "Your Helping team" just let me know. Hugz
ReplyDeleteAww, Limor, First thing I'd like to say is don't feel guilty for not being there for your girls. Providing financially has always been part of your plan too, right? I'm just sure of that. But you do need to reach out...ask for help when your load is too heavy. This Team you are speaking of, will this be family to help with the girls or a Team to help you in your art studio? Possibly both. That would be a great idea. You are so talented and one can see that you not only love creating your art but also sharing the process. But, we as women tend to take care of everyone around us, except ourselves. Until we put ourselves first, only then can we be the best Wife, Mother, Sister or Friend, that we want and need to be. Our bodies definitely respond to what is going on with us mentally. If we are stressed, we can get very sick. Stress can cause many physical ailments to appear such as, what you experienced, the stomach ache, along with nausea, head aches, but also more serious illness like bells palsy, stroke, and even heart attacks. It is crazy how our mental well being can directly affect or physical well being. So, what ever you decide to do, remember to take care of "you" first. Your family, friends and us readers too, all want you in our lives and we want you to be healthy and happy. Blessings always, Laura
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the Psychomom Club! Honey, you need to find time for those little moments - because without them, this industry is DEAD! I admire you for realizing and prioritizing. You are living the dream, with a loving family willing to take every step you take. Love you and you know I'm always here when you need me!
ReplyDeleteLimor I have watched you rock & roll for some time & maybe not 2 or 3 U-streams a week would be the answer & help you to relax. You are incredible artist & we all love you & want you to be :) Happy! Your kids are beautiful & you need some very needed private time to slow down & I am so glad your doctor is there to make sure you do that. I pray that you find balance in your busy life to eat, rest & fill your day watching over those beautiful kids & just please keep mixed media Fridays & maybe 1 Ustream class if possible, buy your decision is what is the most important now, so take time to pray & reflect over your needs. :D Peace & God Bless you. We all love you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a heart felt story. We all have stories, but sharing the story is hard sometimes. I am 24/7 caregiver for my MIL who lives with us, going on 4 years. My support team is very small, basically my husband, as his other siblings are just too busy, they say. Mom has alzheimer;s and is bi-polar. I have been married 22 yrs., could not have children so it has always been just the 2 of us. Some days it is so hard and for 3 of these years I felt like I had to do it all myself. Some where along the way I lost me. I had lost my passion for life, for scrapping and everything that me smile. I have let my body go to the point I am ashamed. More days than not I did not like me at all and was just so tired both emotion and physical. Last doctor visit I was told I had better get a grip as my health was going in the wrong direction. It was very hard for me to admit I can not do this alone, I felt as if I had failed. Now I have a sitter once a week for 5 hours that lets me just get out and do for me. Must confess still have guilty feelings about doing for me but I am working on it. As I look for comfort and peace I wish the same for you. (aka Susu scraps) one of your stalkers!!
ReplyDeleteSusan, God bless you my friend. You seem to have a heart of gold and filled with compassion. You must take a moment for you. I will pray for your peace and well-being. Little steps lead to big ones. You are on your way. I'm 64, widowed and just found the time to do for me and not kids and grandkids. You have a friend here, you are not alone. . (((((Hugs)))))
DeleteSusan, bless your heart for what you do selflessly. I am caring for my father inlaw for almost 3 years now. I have seen him through emergency dissecting aortic aneurysm open heart surgery, pneumonia as a complication and a broken hip. None of his other children help. It's just my husband and I and my kids help even though they don't live at home anymore. I know what you are going through. Don't feel guilty.You have a life as well and are entitled to a break. You have not failed. {{{hugs}} to you. And know that you are not alone.
DeleteI must say tears were streaming down my face as I read what you wrote. You are such a giving and loving soul and it shows in everything you do and project. I understand completely what you are going through.I'm glad there is nothing seriously wrong and rest and food is a good prescription. It's wonderful that your daughter has grabbed the attention of her teachers and is being given an award. It's a beautiful thing. I say I understand because I have had my challenges and I still do. You have given me the push I needed to try!! and that was a big step. God bless you and keep you and your family. You are lifted in prayer as all of your previous Limor junkies before me, LOL. You ladies are a blessing! I pray your healing, strength and continued blessings as you bless us all.
ReplyDeleteLimos honey I took a HUGE step back about two months ago from everything. I too didn't feel I was being present in my life too wrapped up in DT commitments and keeping up with all that scrappy stuff. Since I cut back my life has been 500x happier! I am living life again. I catch myself "apologizing" for not being around like I used to, but I'm not going to doit anymore. I won't apologize for being happy and focused on the truly important things in my life. Since I stepped back blessing after blessing after blessing has been happening to me. Dreams I have had for a LONG time are finally presenting. They were there the who,e time I was just too wrapped up in " keeping up" to notice. Crafting will always be a part of me, but never again will it rule me. As I read this I realized that you go go go woman and never stop. Enjoy those kids and hubby and don't ever feel bad for it. I know you Re in high demand right now ( duh you rock) but put YOU first girly. Otherwise you crash and burn. Love you.
ReplyDeleteLimor, If you think you are alone, then think again. Back in December, the same actualization hit me. Exempt, my children are grown (they still need my support) but I am taking care of my elderly father in law, 2 households and all that it entails, and working a full time job...As if that was enough. I had my DT obligations and it started to hit me that my creativity was suffering. I wasn't giving them all I had, and I just couldn't say no..So I too took a step back to reevaluate what was important at the time. I had to let go of a few things. Unfortunately they were things I loved. I am sure people were mad and didn't understand. But my realization was my father in law was at the end of his life. Who would care for him if I didn't. Yes and that takes a village as well. Except my village there are only 4 people, me, my husband and 2 kids. All have been wonderful in helping my father in law make the best of his last years. Before my father in law, I took care of my mother in law before she passed away, That's how I ended up with my father in law living with us, despite him having his own home...In December, I stepped back...I wasn't feeling well. And I didn't like the unwell feeling. I was exhausted. So I made some real life changes. I stepped down from my managers position at work, stepped down from a couple of DT's, and I reevaluated my "me" time. It took a few months, but I was back to the old me. Creating and feeling good about it. The other problem I have, is saying no...I want to please everyone all the time, and should realize I just can't. I am still learning, but that is hard. I want to do so much and should realize I just can't. Once again I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. So it is time for me to take a step back again and rethink my "self plan". Being sick these last few weeks has helped me do that. Being in bed sure does make you listen to the wheels in your head. Then again my doctor echoes the same sentiment that yours does. Get rest, Get healthy. I am a nurse. I should know this. Of course for me being perimenopausal doesn't help..lol..Oh well, at least I can still laugh..And so should you. And ask for help that is available to you when you need it, and learn to say no when you must. And love on your littles while they are still young. They need you more than ever now. I cherish the days when I was a stay at home mom. They were precious. I was glad to take advantage of it. Then the kids get big, life gets hectic, and you have to take a step back once in a while to keep your sanity and your health...BIG HUGS my friend. And bravo to you for keeping it together while fulfilling your dreams.And know that you have a fan base who doesn't care whether you put out 2 classes or 20. We still love you and what you do for the crafting community. So you rest and takes care of yourself. We will be here all along...You are not alone. xoxoxo...Love you girl.
ReplyDeleteAh honey, it is not an easy thing to ask for help and I think as women and mothers we feel that we have to do twice as much and be twice as good to get anywhere. I had the same epiphany a few years ago and let me tell you now that my kids have left home I realise how much of their lives I missed doing the same thing. Trust me it goes in a flash and now I am going to be a granny to twins and I dont know how I got there. You have to take care of yourself first otherwise you have nothing to give. Hang in there you will figure it all out... <3 and hugs xox
ReplyDeleteWow Limor Webber!!! that was an amazing story, thank you for sharing it with all of us, that takes alot of courage... I never personally met you but I feel a connection to you from the first time I spoke to you.. Sometimes in life we can't be Wonder Woman, we have to take one step back otherwise we lose ourselves... You've become a part of my life without us even meeting, I'm blessed an honored to know such a person like you.. There are not many genuine people left.. Thank you for being you & being Real!! Now you take care of yourself, asking for help is not a sign of weakness but of strength.. God bless you & your family.. Love, Light & Strength to you from your biggest fan in Brooklyn, NY <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteOh, bless you for sharing such a personal & thought provoking part of your life!! Takes courage. I am in a totally different place (don't have children) but am at a fork in my life right now. It happens most years & I don't ask for help & thus end up 'failing' again. I said in January, I cannot have another year like it. Here I find myself nearly in October & guess what? Yep, pride & shame still rules & I haven't asked for help. My bf reminded me yesterday of this, is more than willing to help me but said "you HAVE to LET me in!"
ReplyDeleteIt's so so hard but if I am to improve my life for 2014, I must make a change! It has to be down to me but I CAN ask for help (she says with trepidation). It's okay to do this, it's a sign of strength not 'as I beat myself up with' a weakness!
Balance in life is important as is acceptance we can't please everyone... I have spent my life apologizing for being me & have lost 'me' as result? Gosh, had no idea I would write all this, tempted to delete & stay quiet. That would be insulting you & myself.
Thank you so much for allowing us in; you are uber talented but not just in craft. Spread your talent to look after/be present for your family. Most importantly for YOUR well-being (so you can continue to be 'present', look after YOU!! Will stop rambling now, promise, lol.
ENJOY the moment. Caroline in UK who doesn't want you here unless it is healthy & happy?! '))))
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Before, I didn't took enough time for me, I was feeling gilty because I wasn't taking care of others. But now I allow myself to take a few moments every days and take time for me. Do things that I love. Somedays, I don't feel like it, and it's ok. This week, we were very busy where I work. I think I'll take it easy this weekend and do just little things. I'll take a lot of rest and it's OK. Have a fabulous weekend, Johanne L.
ReplyDeletewhat a wonderful and insightful post! So glad you've had this insight while your children were still young-so right that once the time is gone, it's gone. Even though I was home with mine I always felt pressured to get things done and sometimes didn't savour the moments as much as I should have...life's too short to worry about anything that doesn't speak to our hearts (I had dusty baseboards and streaky windows, but I took the time to read bedtime stories and go to the park!) Blessings to you in your journey as a woman, mother , and artist!
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty and transparency limor. It is a rare quality that so many of us can benefit from. I can relate to you only on the other side of the coin. I keep thinking if I could just make time for more scrapping then I know I could start reaching some major goals but then I think of my personal life and trying to take care of my sister's kids and work through some of the trauma they have dealt with...and normal school kid's mom stuff like sports and after school programs, on top of actually working and I just wonder when/if its going to happen? Your life would stress me out!!! Thats only because of what we know you do...I can't imagine taking a real peek into your life and seeing all the behind the scenes preparations you have going on!
ReplyDeleteLimor, thank you for the touching post!! I know how life gets busy and i hope you see all these wonderful ladies who support you! We all love you even though you have never met us, Limor thank you for sharing and have a great week
ReplyDeleteLove Scout
thank you Limor, well put - so many of us feel we have to be Superwoman, we have so many dreams and aspirations and we want to do it all - well we can't and thats a good thing. Asking for help used to feel like I had failed, but its not, its learning to love your self, like you love others. You are blessed and strong, you are a light to us all. fondest wishes Christine
ReplyDeleteThis is perfectly said, I am experiencing this also just with other problems to add to it. I want to do so much and I run myself crazy. The biggest problem, not enough time in a day and to many physical problems but my children's happiness and short childhood are very precious to me. Maybe it is time to delegate to others some of it.
ReplyDeleteHi Limor, I think we've all been there; you just run around doing your thing, and then comes that moment you realize you have forgotten something that is so crucial to your life, you can't believe you haven't been more aware. I too had to learn to ask for help since I've always been taught to make sure I'd sort out my own things. Funnily enough, once you do ask for help, it becomes apparant that for sure, there are a lot of people around us who are more than willing to step in. I'm sure you will find those people too. Thanks for sharing. Hugs Frea
ReplyDeleteLoved your story! New follower here, hoping you'll follow back :) http://thecraftiestallie.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteOh Limor I think you are doing an amazing job and I, like you, need to learn to say no and ask for help also. I hope you have found that strength and never forget you are an amazing artist and will always be so don't feel you need to be at all our beck and calls right here right now, when your kiddies are a little older we will still be here waiting to be inspired by you and you will have plenty more time to dedicate to it. I hope I get to come see you in Sydney when you are here in Aus, would so love to meet you xx Blessings to you and your family hun x
ReplyDeleteHello, I ordered your gelatos kit from your you tube class I have emailed several times and hav not received any reply I have not receive anything and this was in sept. can you help me
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this and showing us that there is a real person behind that awesome artist. Posts like this is needed in this day and age when everybody are living so disconnected to the people around them. Hope you catch up on your sleep and feel rested soon. Breathe!!!!
ReplyDelete